‘Angels in the Outfield’ By Desson Howe Washington Post Staff Writer July 15, 1994 | ||
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We're at a baseball game. A grumpy-looking grown-up (Taylor Negron) returns to the bleachers carrying soda and junk food for the two kids he's looking after (Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Milton Davis Jr.). He places a plate of steaming hot nachos on his chair, then hands the rest of the food to the kids. But he forgets about the nachos and sits on them.
"Hey, what happened to the nachos?" says one of the kids.
"I'm saving them for later," mutters the grown-up angrily.
This is a scene from "Angels in the Outfield," yet another baseball picture for the video store's Family Viewing shelves. It's funny for young kids, extremely non-critical moviegoers and possibly people with a catatonic medical condition. But it's painfully idiotic for anyone else. Composed of Take-Me-Out-to-the-Ballgame cliches strung end to end -- and cheap ones at that -- this Walt Disney remake of the 1951 movie doesn't really knock one out of the park. It settles for a tired series of bloop singles, using the following never-been-used-before elements:
• A losing pro team (the California Angels) that needs a miracle.
•The irreduceable faith of a young fan (Gordon-Levitt).
•A deadbeat dad (Dermot Mulroney).
• A jaded manager (Danny Glover) in need of a life lesson.
•An over-the-hill pitcher (Tony Danza) who needs to prove himself one last time.
•And of course, angels. Glimmering, special-effect angels -- led by Christopher Lloyd -- who help the floundering A's go from league bottom to pennant heaven.
Eleven-year-old Roger (Gordon-Levitt) waits hopefully for the day when his no-good, motorcycle-riding, cigarette-smoking father (Mulroney) will come back for him. But his father hasn't got the money or the inclination. He cynically tells Roger they'll be family again when the Angels win the pennant. The boy becomes a ward of the state, living with den mother Brenda Fricker and best friend J. P. (the insufferably angelic Davis). But Roger doesn't forget his father's words. He utters a prayer to the heavens, a star twinkles and we enter the Cheesy Zone.
A host of angels whom only Roger can see decides to help the baseball team. Suddenly, inept fielders make spectacular catches. Dud batters hit home runs. The team goes on a winning streak. And manager Knox (Glover) starts to believe this kid who swears real angels are helping the players. When he consults Roger on a daily basis, the press gets wind of this crazy arrangement and asks questions. Just when the Angels can smell the pennant, Knox is asked to officially renounce these winged creatures or resign.
You've seen movies like this. You know pretty much what's in store. You know all great homers happen when the batter is facing a 3-and-2 count, that all crucial pitches must be in slow motion, and that, no matter how many of these films they make, Hollywood will never feel that it has completely exhausted the genre.
ANGELS IN THE OUTFIELD (PG) — Contains mild profanity and constant repetition of the phrase "It could happen." Area theaters.
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